At its best couples counselling does not attempt to give answers, but rather offers a couple tools to find their answers to the specific questions they’re asking. That happens with the counsellor listening deeply to each individual without taking sides or judging and making targeted suggestions about how the communication might be improved. If the couple desires, simple and later more advanced exercises will be offered, which they can practice together at home. The exercises are designed to deepen their conversation so that when the conversation ends, both individuals feel they have been understood–even when they see matters differently. The most important objective is the strengthening of each partner’s ability to listen to their own inner life and to that of their partner, a kind of listening that gets beneath the words to the somatic experience recorded on our bodies. It is there that the key to better communication and mutual understanding lies buried. To get a more detailed picture of how the process may work for you and your partner, please see the “Musings” (blogs) page for posts concerning couples and relationship counselling
