How Can Anger Be Harnessed

 

It is sometimes unpleasant for the person experiencing the anger, especially afterwards, and invariably for the person at whom it is directed.  The one at the receiving end may feel afraid, resentful, shamed, angry themselves or all of these emotions at once.  The end result for both is that excessive, unwarranted anger will place immense strain on the relationship, and if it is not dealt with, will become a barrier to the psychological growth of those involved. How can anger ...

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Depression as a Personal and Public Issue.

Depression as a Public Issue

One in seven Australians suffer with some form of depression in their lifetime. Based on a measure of its negative effects on communities and individuals, it is currently rated as the world’s third most debilitating and costly illness. The World Health Organization has predicted that by 2030 it will be number one. Studies have shown that depression is implicated in the development of other conditions such as chronic fatigue, weakening of the immune system, heart disease ...

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The Contradictions of Couples Counselling

What are the contradictions of couples counselling?

What is it I can briefly yet clearly say about the apparent contradictions of couples counselling? How do two separate people come to live as a single unit?  Can two, in some sense, become one, and if so, do they then stop being two?

Couples counselling addresses the question, what is this thing that we can’t see, touch or measure, and that we call a relationship, or more specifically, being a couple?  Do we stop being ...

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A “Focusing Oriented Counsellor”?

What do I mean when I say I am a Focusing oriented counsellor?

Firstly, I should say something brief about what Focusing is.  As I see it, Focusing is a way of learning about others and myself.  It combines what is generally described as meditation or contemplation–the bringing of my attention to bear on a specific content and steadily holding it there–and creative expression–the use of language, pictures, movement, music, etc. to gain an understanding of that content. The bridge between ...

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What is Holistic Counselling?

Holistic counselling is inclusive in what it considers significant for a client’s well-being.  Every area that pertains to human life is on the table for possible consideration.  No area of activity is left out because to leave it out would be to disavow a part of our humanity and to overlook the fact that all aspects of us, as living systems, function as a whole, each part interacting in countless ways with all other parts.

A holistic counsellor will help you ...

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Spiritual Counselling

What do I mean when I use that term, spiritual counselling?

There are times when I have felt that after nine years working as a counsellor, I’m finally getting my head around what counselling is, what it might be and what it is for.  Such moments usually come unexpectedly and surprise me that different areas of my professional and private life seem to be coming together.  They alert me to the fact that work over time does bring knowledge and facility, ...

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The Mutuality of Counselling

I woke up in the middle of last night from a dream about work, something that rarely enters my dreams.  In the dream, I am listening to a client, and when he finishes speaking, I ask him what it is about our conversations that is of value to him.  His response is slow in coming.  I can see his mouth is trying to form a word, but something is keeping him from being able to do that.  I wait patiently ...

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Counselling the Darkness

I was recently in a conversation that intrigued and strongly brought home to me how much of what I call counselling is about basic human needs. I was speaking with a client, and he was telling me how important to him was the feeling of family, the feeling of belonging to something larger than himself and of which he was an intimate and valued part.  For him, not to have that meant he felt lonely, which he described as a ...

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Toward A Psychotherapy of Resurrection

Well, it’s Good Friday, and so, it’s not surprising that I find myself this morning musing about what is undoubtedly the central story of Western culture and its relationship to therapeutic practice.  The idea of renewed life after death has its psychological expression in the belief that painful experiences, those episodes in our lives in which we feel that we, or at least some part of our personality, is dying–that these moments are actually but a stage in a greater ...

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Relationship is an Art in Listening

 

 

Is relationship really an art in listening?

Listening seems to be one of those things that is highly underrated in western countries.  It’s talking, having something to say and saying it effectively, that is primarily valued.  Of course, being an effective speaker is a great thing.  However, the results of such a lop-sided view of communication is that many of us have developed into superb talkers but poor listeners, and therefore there seems to be a community shortage of good listeners.  ...

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